what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”
i have this friend, his name’s jamal, and when we were younger, he was obsessed with pokemon, and pretended he was a pokemon trainer. one time we saw this stray cat, and he pretended it was a pokemon, and tried to catch it, and somehow he actually managed to get a hold of it. his family’s had it ever since
now we call him “got a cat” jamal
"you’re not asian! you’re indian/pakistani/bengali/other"
bruh does the asian map look like this to you:
yeah i got money
Inspired by the many complaints i’ve received of older Lilo’s resemblance to Nani.
My cat always looks as if he wants to kill somebody (or destroy the universe), so I made a Dalek hat for him and now he can be Cat-Dalek!
“no ur cute”
*gets out knife* “NO UR CUTE”